17th Report

It has been almost 6 months since i wrote my last report. I never thought i would open this blog again, but there is just so much in my heart and mind right now that i want to share. Today has not been the best day for me. Although my presentation went well and nothing wrong really goes on. I just felt i was in a bad mood. I have a feeling Mike, Joeie and Viko are trying to exclude me. It is like there is something about me that they don't like. It doesn't matter. to me now, friends are nothing more than people who might betray you anytime they feel like. I feel like i can not trust anyone now. I want to trust alot of people. Frankie, Eddy, Johnny and etc but I feel like they are rejecting me. No matter what they say now feels so fake to me. perhaps i am already not the people person that I thought i was 5 years ago. Kind of struggling with my inner self on should i remain forgiving or perhaps just change to a cold hearted person. I am wondering lately perhaps i should stay away from eric, I don't want to agrue or be distance from him. Lately i am getting to close with him. When i get too close with someone, they alway interfere. Right now i am wondering perhaps i am born to be an alone person. I am happy with that. I don't feel sad about that. Atleast i helped people find someone they can rely on. I am happy, i am honored. there is nothing sad about being alone. The only thing that is sad is that when a person pity themselves for being alone. I don't.

the mark i give myself today is 45%